Austria is a wonderfully uncomplicated place to visit: it’s in the heart of Europe, most people speak English and there is a spectacular combination of cultural and natural attractions. And, like everywhere, there are national peculiarities that you will not find described in standard guidebooks. Which is a pity, because the following - quintessentially Austrian – expressions, institutions and mannerisms are integral parts of the real Austrian experience. Some of them may seem trivial, but knowing them will earn you kudos points among locals and enhance your understanding of ’Austrianness’.
Drinking has its own ceremonial protocol in which eye-contact plays a central role. When clinking glasses, Austrians take a moment to make eye contact and say ’Prost’ to each person in the round. If you feel like showing off, you can also say ’Zum Wohl’ or ’Prosit’ - all three mean ’to your health’. Skiing instructors, tour guides, bartenders and otherwise well-informed Austrians will be more than happy to teach you a variety of less formal, usually rowdy toasts that are popular throughout the country. Austria’s excellent wines, beers and spirits are the pride of local restaurateurs, make sure to sample regional beverages whenever possible. After a meal you are likely to be offered a shot of Schnaps, Austria’s favourite digestive. This is not a drink for the faint-hearted: the rule is to drink it in a single mouthful and, with most varieties containing around 40% alcohol, this is – literally – an eye-watering experience.
Austrians are the world’s fourth most assiduous beer drinkers, averaging 109 litres per head per year. Beer is always served with a generous head and good waiters take time to achieve a compact ’look’ by letting the foam settle and topping it up various times. This is as much a question of taste as of aesthetics and doesn’t mean that you get less for your money: Austrian beer glasses are designed to hold up to two inches of foam, without decreasing the size of your serving. The most common glass sizes are: extra-small (Pfiff) 0,2 l, small (Seidel/Seitel/kleines Bier) 0,3l, and large (Krügerl/großes Bier) 0,5 l. The super-sized Mass (1l) is a Bavarian import and only served at a handful of regional folk festivals. In summer, Radler (shandy) is a popular choice, usually a mixture of lager and Almdudler, a lemonade made from alpine herbs. A perfectly chilled, foamy-headed, gold tinged glass of beer, served in a shady beer garden or comfy tavern is one of the most emblematic symbols of Austrian hospitality and folksiness. Prost!
Austrians take their food seriously and this dedication shows in their gastronomic rituals. When having a meal as a group, it is polite to wish one another ’Guten Appetit’ or ’Mahlzeit’. Mahlzeit literally means ’mealtime’ and is also used as a general greeting around midday, when one can assume that most people are about to have lunch. At traditional restaurants, especially in the countryside, it is considered polite to greet other punters with a hearty ’Mahlzeit’. A typical Austrian meal can be a long running affair, as there are normally at least three courses and no rush to leave after the last bite. It is common to languish at the table and enjoy a drink before relinquishing the table to the next party.
Influenced by Hungarian, Bohemian and Italian cooking, Austrian cuisine is very diverse, with strong regional differences. Austrian food is not nearly as heavy as its reputation would have you believe, with modern versions of classic dishes being created by innovative chefs throughout the country. To savour home-made regional specialities, visit a countryside tavern (Heuriger, Buschenschank or Landgasthof), where dishes are simple but divine.
After a long night of revelry, there is nothing like a hearty snack to avoid a rude awakening the next day. Therefore, inner city streets are peppered with so-called Würstelstände, the Austrian equivalent of the kebab house. These are food stalls that specialise in serving a wide range of sausages and staying open until dawn. A typical hangover buster would be a pair of grilled or cooked sausages, served with freshly grated horseradish, mustard, ketchup, gherkins, a piece of dark bread and a can of local beer. The Würstelstand owner is a robust, humorous character who has nerves of steel and enjoys to dish out side orders of worldly wisdom on the house. The later the hour, the more eccentric the stall’s clientèle - often a mix of taxi drivers, clubbers and insomniacs. A stop-over at a Würstelstand on the way home means to get involved in a truly Austrian ritual – and you might even get to know some of the more unusual locals.
Austrian Kaffeehäuser (traditional coffee houses), especially certain establishments in Vienna, are relics from a bygone era, when artists, politicians, bohemians and army officers would meet there to read, philosophise, play chess and engage in intellectual duels, while sipping carefully brewed cups of coffee. Every Kaffeehaus is different, but certain rules and regulations are honoured everywhere. For example, if you order a single drink you can stay at the Kaffeehaus as long as you wish, making it a viable second home. A useful rule of thumb: the more newspapers, games and regulars, the better the Kaffeehaus. Every decent Kaffeehaus takes pride in its extensive choice of coffees: at least a dozen different concoctions of freshly ground coffee, milk, cream, water, liqueurs, chocolate and even egg yolk (used in the so-called Kaisermelange) are usually on offer and many Kaffeehäuser have their own signature drink, too. Every coffee is served with a glass of water, which the waiter will top up for free, even long after you have finished your coffee.
Almost as iconic as the Austrian Kaffeehäuser (coffee houses) themselves, are their waiters. The typical Kaffeehaus waiter is the antithesis of the chirpy, ever-smiling staff of today’s service industries. Usually male, middle-aged, wearing a tuxedo and familiar with the titles, political views and favourite hot drinks of the regulars, the Kaffeehaus waiter is a creature of habit – as well as a pernickety selector of favourites. Because here, in a unique reversal of roles, it is the customer who has to win over the waiter, not vice versa. Until the customer is recognised as worthy, the waiter may display various degrees of grumpiness, irritation and sarcasm. This is not rudeness, but an integral part of the Kaffeehaus tradition that is often referred to as ’Viennese charm’. Once you have achieved a certain standing at a Kaffeehaus – through generous tips, reciprocating the waiter’s attitude and repeat visits – you may be awarded a title, such as doctor (Herr/Frau Doktor) or privy councillor (Herr/Frau Geheimrat), and be addressed as such henceforth. The highest ranking regulars are greeted with a reverential ’The usual, professor?’
’Na’ (pronounced ’nah’) is one of the most versatile Austrian expressions. It is derived from the German word for no, ’nein’, but has assumed many different meanings in Austrian vernacular. For example, a drawn-out ’naaa’ means ’no’. But a short, incredulous ’Na!’ means something like ’that can’t be true!’. It gets confusing when people use ’na’ in an affirmative sense: ’Na, eh.’ literally means ’no, exactly’, a common expression of approval in Austria. Then there is the linguistic gem of ’na ja’, which literally means ’no yes’ and is used to express a certain indifference, comparable to ’oh well, I’m not really bothered’. ’Na’ can also be used as an all-round question: depending on the situation, it could be a request to explain who you are, why you are here, what you are doing, how you are feeling or what you are thinking. It can also be a call to action, comparable to ’well, are you just going to stand there?’. Finally, there is also the beautifully rythmic ’Na net na nrhythmica’, which literally means ’no not no no’ and can be loosely translated as ’you are pointing out the obvious, my friend’.
When it comes to queueing, Austrians are an unpredictable bunch. How and if a queue develops depends on a variety of things: the mood of the parties involved, the authority of the service or product for which one queues, the urgency of the matter, whether one is friends with the person behind the counter and various other, sometimes conflicting factors. For example, you will find that Austrians form very orderly queues in banks and post offices, but don’t do the same at bars, ticket offices or ski lifts. Getting off public transport can be a scramble because many people don’t wait to let you get off before boarding themselves. Only very rarely will you find Austrians queueing for taxis or to get on the bus. This particular application of queueing is practically unheard of. Equally, there are few restaurants and cafés where patrons are required to wait to be seated. It is common to choose your own table, trusting that a vigilant waiter notices your arrival and welcomes you once you are seated. This wayward attitude to queueing is known to drive unprepared visitors to despair. Consider yourself warned.
Every winter, Austria hosts hundreds of swish ball nights. Balls are usually opened by a Polonaise (a slow stately dance of Polish origin) and punctuated by speeches, a midnight Quadrille (a square dance performed by couples) and the crowning of the ’belle of the ball’. The most famous is the Viennese Opera Ball, where the crème-de-la-crème of high society - along with a crowd of wannabes - dance and socialises the night away. But there are sparkling balls held everywhere in Austria. Some of the most popular ones are held by professional groups, ranging from confectioners, hunters and pharmacists to coffee house owners and engineers. Officially, the ball season ends in February, with an array of carnival balls. Only a couple of balls are held out of season, such as the Life Ball, a high profile HIV charity event, that is undeniably the hippest ball of all. Austrian balls go on until the early hours and had the Fairy Godmother been Austrian, she wouldn’t have dreamed of ordering Cinderella to leave the ball as early as midnight.
From the polished society of the ball room to the jovial crowd of the alpine hut, Austrians are proud of their Schmäh. The word Schmäh (pronounced ’shmay’) has many meanings: it can denote a joke, a trick or a lie but also regional or personal charm, sense of humour and wit. It is a good-natured yet snide kind of banter with a subversive historical background: Schmäh has its roots below stairs, originating from servants’ mockery of the high-strung, pseudo-courtly lifestyle of their bourgeois masters. Part melancholy, part comedy, it often mixes gallantry with persiflage, flattery with ridicule. Every region and every Austrian has a unique type of Schmäh. It is sometimes mistaken for moodiness or impertinence, but it has always been a friendly, ironic sort of naughtiness, with very simple rules of engagement: roll with the punches and enjoy a harmless - if slightly anarchic - battle of the wits.
